As they say, History repeats itself

 

                I grew up going to church. I used to look forward to it. Looking back, I’m not so sure how much of that was because of how much my family was involved, or how much was because I saw the same people only once a week in Sunday School. How much was familial pressure, and how much was my own desire. I remember writing my own affirmation of faith, and reading it in front of the congregation. Being very proud that I had said much of the right things that would make everyone happy. I’m not sure even then that I actually believed it. It was a school assignment, something that I needed to do well on, or; in my mind, I’d get in trouble.

                As time went on, I continued to learn about the faith, even if faith itself didn’t really resonate with me. I still looked forward to going to church. It was a time or day to meet with those who would ultimately shape my life. People that would always greet me with a smile no matter the consequences, and I would reciprocate because not only was it the right thing to do, but because I genuinely felt that deep down in my heart; I wanted to.

                It’s safe to say that I’ve never felt a spiritual connection. Going through middle school, and high school, we continued our learning of history. Obviously, this included learning about things such as the Inquisition, European Colonization of Africa, the foundation of the US colonies, and slavery. All of which were caused by people who claimed they were doing people a favor by instilling Christianity on them, regardless of whatever religions/faiths those people may have previously demonstrated.

                I continued to college, where I took a religion of the world class. Thought it would just be an easy A, something I didn’t really need to pay attention to. Christianity won out right? I know all about that. Turns out I was just a bit wrong about that. However, some of the thing that stuck out to me most was that there are things from the Bible that we are able to prove to some degree. Scientists have claimed to have found the Arc. We can date many of the original Biblical scrolls somewhat close to the date that we would expect.

                All of this was really meant to say that though I question faith, there were two places in my youth outside of my house that felt like home. Those were church, and Kirkwood. Some of best memories were created at either place. Some life long bonds were formed there as well.

                I’ve always enjoyed history, it’s made sense to me. A chance to understand what people are thinking, on either side of what written in the books. I’ve put myself on both side of the Revolutionary war, I’ve put myself on the U.S. Confederacy. In both cases, they saw that people were challenging superiority. A right to lord over people because only they can show them what it means to truly have meaning. There was this believe that freedom was something that could be controlled.

                As I’ve continued to grow, I’ve continued to question religion. There is no major strife that I can quickly think of that was not caused directly by religion. Even in a small-scale sense. Almost every major conflict in the world had a direct correlation to religion, whether it was persecution or genocide.

                I firmly believe I was shaped by my upbringing and I would not be who I am today if I had not gone to church every Sunday or spent a week at Kirkwood every year. My morality was ultimately shaped by Christianity, It has shaped me into how I view the world. It has taught me about caring for others, whether or not they deserve it. It has taught me that I should give some of myself for the benefit of others.

                It is ultimately what I was taught about caring for all of those around me, and doing the right thing that makes me angry that those who taught me would be willing to throw it all away for a man who shares none of those views. I have been questioning everything I’ve held dear, because those I once looked up to now say that none of that matters. They claim that their faith is important, but yet, they use their beliefs to hold people down. To make them less than human, yet again. History continues to repeat. As it will until the end of time.